I am experiencing a high volume of negative emotions now. I am angry, upset, overwhelmed, impulsive, regretting, disappointed and depressed. My usual tricks of deep breathing and self-distracting do not work. No music, movies or books can console me like how they did in the past. Only my conversation with ST calmed me for some hours.
The Chinese netizens are trying to pass around the so-called ‘positive energy’ (正能量) to counter the ‘negative energy’ (负能量) in the society, like apathy and coldheartedness, and in the individual mind, like procrastination and pessimism. I think I need that positive energy too.
I hope I can have a genuine smile on my face when I reach my China home in 18 hours, and can have a quiet hermitic fortnight while I seek my inner peace.